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Weeks 1 - 5 27th June - 31st July 2005 I have only just found out that I am pregnant and already I am 4 weeks pregnant. This is because they work it out from the date of your last period for some bizarre reason. So there I am sitting on the toilet in my bathroom looking at the little blue cross in the round window of my pregnancy test thinking WOW. How the hell did that happen? Well obviously I know how it happened. Hubby and I had not so much decided to start trying for a baby but rather to not not try, if get my drift. We had expected the whole process to take about a year at the least, but we got pregnant first go. Hubby is putting it down to his general manliness, naturally. So I come out of the bathroom and say, monumentally, to hubby, "no wine for me tonight!" and I hand him the little white stick. Hubby is grinning from ear to ear and is delighted and opens a can of beer to celebrate. And it all feels a little anti-climatic to me, I want to drink wine and celebrate! But I am unsure right now of what I can and can’t have to eat and drink, and I am also unsure of how I feel. I know I am happy but I also know that I am terrified and that my life is about to be turned on its head. I am ecstatic - a baby! A baby that is part me and part Hubby, we even already have names picked out. But it's just all so overwhelming, so enormous, I can't get my tiny head round it and I desperately need a drink... We decide to keep quiet until 12 weeks. But then we get excited and tell everyone. Our parents are excited, my mum in particular. My sister is ecstatic. Hubby’s mum and step-dad are away on holiday so we won’t be able to tell them until they get back. We decide to wait to tell Hubby’s brother until the weekend when we see him. Over the next few days I begin to feel increasingly annoyed with everything. It feels like I have constant PMT and I am exhausted, I keep falling asleep on the sofa, something I never do as I am usually too busy doing stuff. We go to Hubby's brother's place on Saturday and I spend the evening drinking caffeine-free tea whilst the others all get slowly battered around me. They are delighted when we tell them the news and his sister-in-law tells me lots of useful stuff about being pregnant, which makes me feel a bit better. On Sunday Hubby's Dad comes along too for a BBQ before we head home. Neither his Dad nor his stepmum say congratulations or ask me how I am feeling. This pisses me off greatly, though I am not sure if I am really annoyed or if I'm just pregnant. Hubby and I talk in the car on the way home and I have a long warm bath with lavendar when we get back, it makes me feel mildly better for about five minutes, then I am back to wanting to punch somebody. I take my aggression out by shouting at Big Brother then cover myself in Body Shop mango moisturiser and pass out in bed watching Cold Feet. Tomorrow marks the start of a long week. previous * * * next
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