Week 15 – Monday-Sunday
Mon 3rd October – Sun 10th October 2005 Monday:
Time flows steadily by. The agonisingly slow first 12 weeks are now behind us and now time seems to move at a more normal pace. With every morning I wake up I know I am one day nearer to the finish line, one day nearer to being mother, one day nearer to seeing my husband become a father. Our lifestyle before I got pregnant revolved around going out for drinks, staying in for drinks, treating ourselves to meals out, buying DVDs, planning holidays, going camping etc. Now we are in most evenings, watching a film or a programme we enjoy, playing on the computer, knitting (me not Hubby!) and chatting. I do regret that I don’t seem to muster enough energy for much. Whereas before I was constantly suggesting walks in the forest, trips out, nights on the town, new and exciting dishes to try cooking. Now my goal is to secure a Saturday where we don’t have to do anything but lounge about not doing housework and eating anything that can be heated up in the microwave. I think I need to motivate myself more. The worst is over, until D-day at least, so I’d best try and bounce back a bit I think, right after I finish this packet of jammy-dodgers… Tuesday:
I finally got measured for a maternity bra this week. I’m usually an average 34C. Now I am a 34DD/36DD. I got one bra in each size, and so far I have worn mostly the 36DD, as the smaller one is too tight. My hair is growing in thick and needs cutting, I am not getting as many spots and although I still don’t feel like a blooming and healthy earth mother goddess type person, I certainly feel better than I did two weeks ago…and my boobies are HUUUUUGE. Wednesday:
My colitis has slowed down this week and apart from a couple of minor episodes it has been strangely absent. Though I still feel constantly on the verge of an attack it is a major improvement. Thursday:
Had to call in sick today due to colitis nightmare. Why is it that the moment I chilled out a bit and wrote what I did yesterday it flared up again? I think that is called Sod’s Law. Or maybe Very Annoying. I spent the day doing as much housework as possible to counteract the guilt of not going into work, the end result of which was that I was knackered and felt even worse.
Dan and I did our monthly shop for £40. Money is tight. I called my bank to restructure my loan and they have offered me a loan over 5 years that’ll save me about £80 a month. Hmmm. Not a lot when you consider I have to some how get through three months of maternity leave on half pay, then pay over £700 a month for child care AND deal with a rent increase too. How do people DO this? How does anybody have children and actually afford to have a life? It’s crap as well as I was hoping to be totally debt free inside three years, now I’ll be 34 before the light is seen at the end of tunnel. I watched a holiday programme on family package holidays and I had to switch it off before I started to cry….please please save us from family package holidays. Please let us be cool and groovy parents traveling with our sun-kissed well behaved children who can speak French and a little Spanish and know how to pronounce croissant… Friday:
What a crap day. Woke up feeling hungover, correction, woke up late feeling hungover. Most unfair since I can’t remember the last time I had a drink. Slow and arduous journey to work. My computer broke. Then, at Whitechapel station on the way home a woman walked onto the tracks in front of the train, sat down and lit up a fag, shouting “I hate this f***ing world!!” Cue about ten London Underground staff milling about scratching their heads and not knowing what to do, and the general public shouting at LU staff and generally being very rude and unnecessary. This went on for about 25 minutes, during which time I stood feeling more and more light headed and with no offer of a seat, even though I have a definite bump emerging over my waistband. The women then walked back onto the platform where bemused LU staff looked at her and did….nothing. So she got back onto the tracks for another walk about before finally removing herself and wandering off into the station.
Still, at least when I returned home my new pink and silver mohair wool had arrived so I can look forward to knitting a girly pink and fluffy hat. I have three obsessions at the moment: wool, tesco-value cheese and peanut butter.
Hubby is having his leaving drinks with his work tonight so I have to find the energy to put on make-up, get dressed and be sociable. Just as soon as I’ve finished this lump of cheese with peanut butter… Saturday:
Bad Colitis Day. Managed to rest a lot in between housework but still felt pretty yucky. Hubby went round to his mate’s house to watch the England game so I bought a film on Pay Per View – I got Shall We Dance with J Lo and Richard Gere and I really enjoyed it. It wasn’t a masterpiece but it was very satisfying and it made me cry, which is what I needed.
Hubby came home with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream, which we ate whilst doing Test The Nation (Hubby won but I have placenta-brain so it doesn’t count.) Sunday:
I had a restless night dreaming about giving birth at 20 weeks. I also kept getting woken up by the pain in my legs. I seem to have developed a strong aching in both legs, especially around the knee, ankle and hip joints. I have no idea why. It seems I am falling apart completely. I am getting SO fed up, I am BORED to tears with being in pain and feeling sick. I love life, I get great pleasure out of small simple things, but at the moment any joy or pleasure is impossible when dealing with the pain and the illness. I came to a difficult decision and took the 20mg of steroids today in the hope it might bring me a normal life for the duration of the pregnancy. I am not optimistic. So here we are at the end of Week 15, Week 16 begins tomorrow. Let’s hope it’s the dawning of a new pain-free illness-free era.
previous * * * next
last five:
Five Months Old - Friday 1st September 2006
10 Weeks and 3 Days Old - 2006-06-12
Lillia Charlotte arrives - 31st March 2006
Week 39-Monday-Wednesday - Monday 20th March-Wednesday 22nd March 2006
Week 38 - Wednesday-Sunday - Wednesday 15th March-Sunday 19th March 2006
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