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Week 21 – Wednesday-Sunday Wednesday 16th November – Sunday 20th November 2005 Wednesday: My first appointment of the day was with my gastro consultant. As I sat in his office I felt deflated, I felt defeated. I felt like I just couldn’t keep coping with being ill anymore, I had literally come to the end of my tether. My consultant suggested lowering my steroid dosage my 5mg, I agreed, he’s the expert after all, but it makes me nervous. Half of me wants to be off these horrible drugs with their side effects and problems, and half of me relishes the normal life they give me – the ability to get in to work every day and pretend to be like everyone else. I spend an hour or so wandering around Leytonstone, browsing through Primark and Woolworths, before heading back to the hospital to meet Hubby for our scan. The Scan. I was so nervous about it that I started crying as soon as I lay down on the table, I couldn’t even say my date of birth, it was so embarrassing. The sonographer was lovely though, obviously used to neurotic pregnant women and she got stuck straight in and let us know which bits she was looking at and that everything was fine. She said she would spend five minutes at the end showing me the screen and pointing out the baby etc. The baby was in a really awkward position, and no amount of jiggling about or rolling around the table would get it to move. So we were sent for a walk around the hospital to try and get it moving. Ten minutes later we returned, by this point it was 4.30pm. The original sonographer had gone and we had a different woman – a woman who had obviously had a long day and wanted to go home. The baby still wouldn’t move so she still couldn’t check the heart and face properly, she was really quite rough and, although the baby was blissfully unaware, I was very aware of the hard prodding going on in my abdomen, I felt quite bruised afterwards! She was obviously in a hurry and after fifteen minutes of prodding etc she finally got the measurements she wanted and flicked off the screen. But I still hadn’t seen my baby! The silly thing was that she was pregnant herself, so she must have known how important these things are for peace of mind etc. I had to ask her if I could see my baby! To her credit she turned the screen back on and talked me through it – though it wasn’t exactly the cosy magical experience I had been hoping for! But the important thing was that everything was ok, though the rather hurried mature of the second part of the scan still left me feeling uneasy and worried. We asked her to check the sex and she said it looked like a girl! But it was in such an awkward position it was really hard to tell, so we’re still not much the wiser! We won’t be running off to buy pink things yet! Or the female version of the Norwich City baby-gro… It was an emotional day and we were both incredibly tearful and drained at the end of it, though the baby decided to cheer us up that evening – Hubby was singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to the baby, he had his head rested against my tummy and it kicked really hard, the hardest I’ve felt it, and he felt it too! We both leapt up going “Oooo!! Did you feel that?!” It was really great and I am so glad that he felt it! The baby obviously either really loved or hated its Dad’s singing… Thursday and Friday: Work has been totally crazy and I have been working flat out, by Friday I was ready to walk in the door and straight into bed. But the Christmas and Birthday season is upon us and we had another birthday do to attend – so we headed out to the pub for a couple of drinks before we could head home to our bed, I have never been so grateful for my head to hit a warm pillow. Saturday: The weather is freezing!! I love it. Sunday: Hubby went off the play footy on the frozen turf of Hackney marshes whilst I prepared roast dinner for seven. Considering I have never cooked a roast dinner before I was quite please with my abilities – my timing was spot on, the gravy was smooth and I even managed two types of stuffing. Who says cooking Christmas roast is stressful, this was a doddle! I now have images of myself twenty years from now looking like something out of a ROC advert, happily cooking a perfect roast for my beautiful and glamorous family and being presented with a sparkling diamond necklace by a well-aged and graying Hubby… The Week 21 picture however shows me in my pyjamas with my hair scraped back and bags under my eyes. Hmmm. Maybe I should buy some of that ROC stuff now…
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