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Monday 30th January-Friday 3rd February 2006

Monday:
I shouldn't write these diary entries so early in the morning as I am invariably grumpy and counting the seconds til home time. But it's the only time the office is blissfully quiet enough for me to get my thoughts out.

So here we are on another damp and drizzly cold Monday morning. Another five full weeks of work loom ahead of me. I have a fairly easy week this week with only one external meeting. I have Wednesday afternoon off to go to the hospital for my monthly gastro appointment and also for my first antenatal class, should be interesting.

Tuesday:
Today started badly with the usual barrage of numpties on the tube and a cold and wet start to the morning. But things soon brightened up, the sun is out and I no longer have to travel all the way to Stockwell this afternoon for a meeting - which means that's it for external meetings from now on! No more travelling around! So the only times on public transport I have to endure are my trips to and from work.

I have been ploughing through my mountains of work today with gusto. I am determined to get things as ordered as possible as far in advance as possible before I go off on maternity leave (four weeks and three days remaining...) As a result I have got quite a lot done and my desk is beginning to look a lot clearer. I'm going to be quite busy in my final week so I really want to make sure everything else is done.

Interviews for the job I am going for are going to take place around 20th February, which is the week before I go. So I also want to devote some time this week to filling out my application form.

Last night Hubby started moving furniture out of the spare room in preparation for painting at the weekend. Now we are surrounded in drawer units etc. Everything is quite messy at the moment so I am looking forward to getting the nursery painted and in order. It'll look good when it's done. It's a shame really that we're moving out in August!

I have a headache today and my stretch marks are still hurting. The baby is moving about quite a bit and kicking my bladder again. I am getting so fed up with being pregnant now! I know it'll get a LOT easier when I am not working, but I am looking forward to getting my little girl into the world and being able to paint my toenails again!

Wednesday:
Work is manic - I have far too much for one small person to do (ok, one rather large person at the moment.) I nearly set the building alarm off coming into work this morning - I pulled at the doors and they half opened but were still locked, this triggered the alarm and left me scrabbling about outside trying to locate my keys. I ended up having to tip the contents of my bag onto the street, grab the keys (which were of course lodged behind a book or two in the very bottom of my bag as they always are in times of emergency key retrieval) and dash into the building to deactivate the alarm, leaving my belongings outside. Not a good idea in Whitechapel. Fortunately there were no opportunist thieves lurking and I managed to scoop everything up safely.

Then when I finally settled down at my desk at the unearthly hour of 8am I caught my feet in a wire and dislodged a whole system of plugs from under my desk, meaning I had to haul my bulk under the desk to sort it all out.

So a bit of a stressful start to the day following a night tossing and turning with heartburn. I must remember to ask later on if I can have Gavisgon on prescription, or I shall be very poor indeed.

I get to leave the office today at 11.30am to head to the hospital for my monthly gastro appointment. Then it's our first antenatal class at 2.30pm. Not sure what I think about antenatal classes so we'll see how it all goes, I still can't believe they're in the middle of the week in the afternoon - like people can easily breeze in and out of work for these things! I will double check it tonight, just in case we've been signed up to the People Who Don't Work classes or something.

God I really fancy some chocolate, is 8.30am too early?

Thursday:
My appointment with my gastro appointment was short and sweet and went well. My steroids have been reduced by another 5mg, so I am now on 20mg. I still won't be off them for a while (way after the baby is born) but it's a small step in the right direction. Fingers crossed.

Hubby and I attended our first antenatal class yesterday afternoon. It was interesting. We briefly got to chat to a few others who seemed nice. Hopefully we will get to know people over the next few weeks; it would be good to make some friends that I can keep in touch with after the birth. Everyone in the class were first time mums, some had their husbands/partners with them and others were on their own or had their mums with them. I felt really conscious of my bump, like I was abnormally large whilst everyone else had neat compact perfect bumps, but I am sure this was just me being paranoid.

The midwife answered loads of questions and we watched a couple of videos of women giving birth, which were really interesting and not half as bad as I had imagined really. Some people were reacting really strangely, like it was the worst and most revolting thing ever. I felt like shouting "Well what did you EXPECT?!" What did they honestly expect it would look like? You have to push a whole human being out of your vagina - it's not a process that's gonna look pretty.

I am starting to think more about the birth now and the pain and everything. I've not really been that worried about it, and to a certain extent I am still not. But I am definitely getting more apprehensive about it. I tried to explain that I was feeling a bit scared to Hubby and he was really understanding and caring but kept saying how hard it would be for him too, seeing me in pain, being in an unknown situation etc. I find it hard to be sympathetic! I can't help thinking that the labour part is going to be ME ME ME, and rightly so. Maybe I am a selfish bitch. Hey ho.

When we got home I made about a gazillion coconut cookies and we watched Relocation Relocation (Kirsty's pregnant apparently!) Then it was to bed for a night of heartburn and strange dreams.

Friday:
I'm having the WORST 24 hours.

Work went from busy to crazy yesterday afternoon, then I on the way home on both the District Line and the Central Line I didn't get a seat.

A NOTE TO ALL PEOPLE TRAVELLING ON THE DISTRICT LINE OR CENTRAL LINE EASTBOUND AT AROUND 4.45 ON WEEKDAYS - GIVE UP YOUR SEAT FOR THE STRESSED LOOKING PREGNANT LADY IN THE BEIGE COAT, SHE'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

I just can't believe that grown men and women in business suits can sit there, look at my expanded tummy, and then completely ignore me. It is truly shocking.

Then I had to wait fifteen minutes for a bus in the freezing cold as Hubby was working late and couldn't pick me up from the station. When I finally got home I was so stressed, tired and hormonal that I just filled the bath, put some lavender oil on to burn, switched out the light, turned up a Norah Jones CD and submerged myself for an hour.

I then crawled into my pyjamas, grabbed the spare duvet and collapsed into the comfy leather chair in the living room with the remote control. This is where hubby found me when he got in ten minutes later. He was really sweet and I didn't have to move anywhere all evening except to go to the loo, he just kept bringing me food and drink and other things to keep me happy.

This morning I got in at quarter to eight, extra early, to get on with some work. Alas the computers were all down and I had to spend an hour doing nothing, so frustrating. Then I spent four non-stop hours working, without even stopping for a cuppa. I am now at the point where I think I will just give up. I have to leave in just over an hour to go and see my midwife and I can't muster any further energy from my exhausted pregnant body and mind to do anything.

Heaven help my upstairs neighbours if they decide to embark on noisy DIY this weekend, they won't know what's hit them....

last five:
Five Months Old - Friday 1st September 2006
10 Weeks and 3 Days Old - 2006-06-12
Lillia Charlotte arrives - 31st March 2006
Week 39-Monday-Wednesday - Monday 20th March-Wednesday 22nd March 2006
Week 38 - Wednesday-Sunday - Wednesday 15th March-Sunday 19th March 2006

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