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Monday 6th February-Friday 10th February 2006

Monday:
When I woke up I still felt exhausted from the dramatic weekend and the four weeks of work stretching ahead of me only made me feel worse. I am so knackered all the time, how will I cope? I spoke to my line manager and arranged to work from home next Wednesday morning and the Wednesday morning after, before my antenatal classes, so that I don't have to leg it round London all day on public transport. So I effectively have a day a week where I don't have to be in the office, which is great and will hopefully help me not only rest, but get loads of work done in peace and quiet too.

Tuesday:
Today we had our second antenatal class - this time on intervention in labour and pain relief. It was informative but nothing we didn't already know. I've read up so much on what to expect and researched all my options that there isn't a lot I don't know already, so it was little boring. Next week is on breastfeeding though so I am looking forward to that one, it's something that still seems a complete mystery to me no matter how much I read.

In the evening Hubby and I cleared out the nursery totally so that he could start sanding and scrubbing in preparation for painting at the weekend. So now the flat is covered in boxes and baby paraphernalia. Still, it'll be worth it in the end.

Wednesday:
I am totally exhausted having got about two hours sleep. I just can't sleep for any beneficial length of time anymore. I fall into bed exhausted between 9 and 10pm and pass out immediately only to wake up every hour or so throughout the night to adjust my pillows, swig Gavisgon, sort out leg cramps or because of some strange dream or vision. I am seeing spiders again. I probably haven't mentioned before but sometimes when I wake in the night I can see the outlines/shadows of huge furry spiders on the curtains or walls - usually only one maybe two at a time. They aren't threatening and I'm never scared of them (despite hating real spiders!) I sometimes just spend a good half hour watching them, not that they do much! Apparently they are signs of protection, or they're protectors or something. Hmm.

I have been slowly working through my application form for the job I am going for at work - it's a grade above my own and I really hope I get it. I'm not too pleased with what I've written so far so I'll take it home tonight for Hubby to look.

Baby is quiet today so far, hope she livens up again later, it always worries me when she's quiet.

I've written my birth plan! Here it is for the record:

My most important request is that the interests of our baby and I are kept as the highest priority - I have no wishes or ideals that are crucial over and above our health and safety.

I would very much like to have a Forest Suite and I have filled out the booking form for this.

Birth Partner and Carers:
* My partner at the birth will be my husband.
* I am planning to give birth in the hospital under the care of the midwives there. I would prefer to have the minimum amount of people in the room as possible (although I am happy for a single student midwife/nurse/doctor to be present.)

Medical Conditions:
* I have active ulcerative colitis and I am on the following medications:
- 1600mg Asacol per day
- 15mg Prednisolone (steroids) per day

Labour Positions:
* I hope to keep as active as possible in labour with the help of my husband. I would appreciate your help and suggestions for ways to cope. I have a squishy ball to sit on which I plan to use if it helps.

Pain Relief:
* I am hiring a TENS machine, which I shall begin to use at home. I would like to use gas and air at the hospital. I am also planning to use relaxation, massage and essential oils to ease the pain. I don't think I want pethidine, but if labour continues for a long time and I feel I cannot cope with the pain I would like an epidural.

Intervention:
* I would like to be kept informed about how labour is progressing, and if I need medical interventions I would like the chance to talk through the options, if there is time.
* I would like to avoid an episiotomy* but would rather be cut than tear if absolutely necessary.
* I am happy to receive the syntometrine injection for the delivery of the placenta.

Following the Birth:
* I would like my husband to tell me the sex.
* My husband wants to cut the cord.
* I would like to hold my baby straight away and put her to the breast straight away.
* We are happy for the baby to receive the Vitamin K injection.

Postnatal Care:
* I am planning to breastfeed and would welcome any advice.
* I do not want my baby to receive any supplementary feeding (assuming that both the baby and I are well enough for me to breastfeed adequately.)

(*If you do not know what an episiotomy is, don’t ask. Don’t even look it up. You don’t need to know unless you absolutely have to. Trust me.)

Thursday:
Can't. Take. Any. More.

Help! I am sooooooo unbelievably tired, I am functioning on fumes. I sleep so fitfully that I wake up feeling like I have run a marathon in my sleep and I am rapidly losing the ability to concentrate on anything at work apart from the clock creeping slowly towards home time.

The heartburn is painful and I sometimes get a dull pain in my solar-plexus after eating, which is really uncomfortable. The baby has been quite quiet over the last 24 hours, I am guessing she is just running out of room and I am trying not to worry too much like I did last time. She's probably just having a quiet period, I'll call the midwife if it continues after today.

I haven't been getting any Braxton Hicks anymore, not since about Week 29. I wonder if this is normal? I am starting to get anxious that the baby is going to be really late, but at the same time I am worried it'll come early! I am really looking forward to my four weeks of freedom before the due date. So come on Baby, be punctual and turn up bang on time!

The flat is an utter mess at the moment - the entire contents of the spare room are spread throughout whilst Hubby gets busy with sanding down the walls etc. I think we're about ready to start painting tonight or tomorrow, but definitely by Saturday. Who knows, by Sunday night we could have a nearly finished nursery! How exciting! I just can't picture it at all at the moment. I’ve put piccies of the empty unpainted shell of a nursery on Bumpwatch (I am the red and pink stripey whale-like creature standing in the middle of it.)

Anyway, best go and get stuck into the massive pile of work on my desk. *sigh*

Friday:
It’s FRIDAY! Woo hoo! Yaaay! Hurrah! Hoo haaarrr! Thank Crunchie (ooh, crunchie…) etc.

I couldn’t possibly have got through another work day after today, I am dead on my feet and my brain has actually ceased to function. I have actually started to use random words in place of normal words e.g. earlier today when going through a report I referred to bullet points as “travel points” and a table to “that box thingy that you make with lines”. ??!! It’s all very worrying, especially as I handed in my application form today for my promotion. I proof-read it and thought it was pretty damn good, but it’s probably a load of gobbledy-gook.

I have been working hard today and I still have a lot to get through, it’s driving me nuts, I am too pregnant and hormonal to produce work of any decent standard and my brain is mashed potato. I just want to finish work and drop out of the human race for a while until I am a normal functioning human again (rather than a burping, swollen, water-retaining hippo that can’ stand up unaided.)

Right, just over two hours left at work. Time for a quick list of countdowns then it’s back to work…

Days until due date – 52
Dates until my birthday – 68 (if any friends, family or husbands are reading this I would like Evening Primrose stuff from Boots, stuff from LUSH, chocolates, stuff from Molten Brown…)
Working days left at work – 15 (13 if you don’t count my working-at-home days)
Days until Christmas – 318

last five:
Five Months Old - Friday 1st September 2006
10 Weeks and 3 Days Old - 2006-06-12
Lillia Charlotte arrives - 31st March 2006
Week 39-Monday-Wednesday - Monday 20th March-Wednesday 22nd March 2006
Week 38 - Wednesday-Sunday - Wednesday 15th March-Sunday 19th March 2006

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