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Week 34 – Monday and Tuesday Monday 13th February-Tuesday 14th February 2006 Monday The beginning of another week. I am feeling most uncomfortable. I am very round and I have started to expand out sideways as well as forwards. It's quite disconcerting seeing my own reflection in the mirror and I feel constantly fat and heavy. I can't wait to give birth so that I can start moving about properly again - touching my toes, stretching, lying on my stomach in bed, running without one or both of my boobs taking out a passing pedestrian. The Baby's movements have changed a lot in the last week or so. Whereas before there were quite prominent kicks and nudges, now it's more like bumps and wiggles and squirming. And she seems to be right on my bladder, I have never had to go to the loo so much in my life! My midwife's clinic is too busy this week so I have to go to my GP instead for my fortnightly check-up. I'm going a week today after work (at least the timing is more convenient.) I hope my GP can tell the position of the baby like the midwife can as I am sure she has moved and I want to know what she's up to! (The baby...not the GP.) I am still really upset following my encounter with my nightmare neighbours yesterday. I know that we are only in the flat for another five months or so, but it's still horrible. I want our final months there to be peaceful and enjoyable, it's our first home together and I want to leave with good memories. Still, I am looking forward to preparing the rooms at my mum's house for us to move into, we'll be cosy there whilst we save the money we need for a deposit for a place of our own. Today has been slow and tiring following a night with no sleep and I am looking forward to getting home, finishing off the nursery and putting my feet up. My appetite has diminished a lot and I rarely feel like eating in the evening at all so I'll probably end up having cereal or toast. Boring. Two weeks and four days left at work.... Tuesday: Am I the only pregnant woman in the world not having rampant sex? According to the books, magazines and websites everyone's at it like rabbits. I feel like the only one for whom being the size of Belgium is a total turn off. Who wants to have sex when they are enormous, covered in stretch marks and it's difficult to turn over in bed, let alone...well... There is not one part of my body that feels vaguely sexual at the moment. And as for the thought of doing it with our baby right there in my tummy - ew ew ew! It seems almost...rude. Nothing could have prepared me for the total takeover of my body. I feel like it no longer belongs to me but to this tiny person who I haven't even met. I feel like a hostage to this growing being wriggling about in there. I think that's why I frequently feel so sad and annoyed, I just want to be me again. It didn't help that my Valentine's card this morning from Hubby had a cartoon on it and a stupid "funny" rhyme. He usually gets me such lovely cards on Valentine's day...not that it should matter, but for some reason it does. Why did he get me a silly card? Is it because I am no longer a grown-up, romantic, sexual person? Just a blob of a woman existing now only for birth and breastfeeding. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and ask him, he seemed to think it was just a funny card. But to me, well, it kind of upset me. Is this all hormones? Bloody hormones. I never used to be so...so....blah. *shake it off* Last night we finally finished painting the nursery and started to move the furniture back in. We just need to get the curtain rail up now, which we'll do on Wednesday before antenatal class, and then it's finished. We assembled the shelves last night and put all our baskets on them (filled with nappies, baby wipes etc.) and they look great. We even put up our jungle lampshade, it's so cute. I just wanted to stay home today and stare at it all! I'll have to take some pictures tonight and post them up. It's still not completely done, but it's nearly there. I've got a long day today - I'm helping with a training session this morning and I really don't have the energy. Still, at least I'm not in the office tomorrow.
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